Training as Yamamoto Takiko
by yokainomiko
Summary: Takiko did everything with a single minded focus and that meant that baseball was everything. She worked too hard for it to be any other way. Fem!Yamamoto Fem!80 Fem!8027 Basically pre-series


Title: Training as Yamamoto Takiko  
Series: Katekyo Hitman Reborn (KHR)  
Pairing/Character(s): Fem!Yamamoto  
Genre: General/Romance  
Rating: PG-13/T  
Summary: Takiko did everything with a single minded focus and that meant that baseball was everything. She worked too hard for it to be any other way. Fem!Yamamoto Fem!80 onesided Fem!8027  
Word Count: 3232  
Notes: More from my fem!Guardians world. Happy Birthday Yamamoto.

* * *

Yamamoto Takiko lived her life in pursuit of one goal and one goal only: to do something she loved with people she loved.

She picked that goal long before her mother died and she learned the lesson that keeping those you love close to you was more difficult than it had any right to be.

After her mother died, Takiko threw herself into baseball and the second half of her goal became less important.

Now, just because she had such a simple goal didn't change the fact that she had _dreams_. She dreamed of joining the MLB in America, of being loved by the kindest and most understanding man ever, and being as selfish as possible without being called out on it.

None of these things seemed likely to happen anytime soon as far as she could tell.

In elementary school after she tried out for, and made, the boy's baseball team, she got labeled as a tomboy.

She didn't think that was very fair. Just because she liked baseball: an image of a tall woman with a bat flashed through her mind, didn't mean that she couldn't like dresses.

But girls are mean and boys are mean too. The boys made fun of her because she was the only girl on the team. The girls spilled the juice from their juice-boxes and the food from their bentos for daring to wear dresses and for wanting to be a _boy_.

She wasn't the only kid being bullied. Dame-Tsuna, a boy that was bullied to legendary proportions, had it much much worse. It was the only thing that brought her any solace. She would repeat to herself over and over, "At least I'm not as bad as Dame-Tsuna."

After about a year, everyone seemed to have gotten used to her being on the team. The girls started admiring her for being so "brave" as to join a boy's team and the guys swallowed their pride because she was one of the better players. It was like last year never happened.

When she hit a grand slam at the end of fourth grade, she became an _ace_.

This was a good and bad thing.

The good part was that now _everyone _liked her. She became the most popular girl in her year and as long as she kept smiling and winning, it would stay that way.

The hard part was now everyone _expected _things of her. Things Takiko wasn't sure she could give. But she liked winning and hated being bullied, so obviously she needed to get better at baseball.

And Takiko loved baseball. It made her feel powerful and the adrenaline rush was like nothing else. She had wanted to play baseball ever since she found that old recording of her mom playing informal games with people from the neighborhood. She wanted to be a pro and to make her parents proud of her. She wanted she wanted she wanted.

She wanted– but that meant she had to _do _and that was the problem.

Takiko wasn't a very good student, but after she threw herself into baseball, her grades got even lower. She pretended not to notice her father's darkened eyes whenever she brought home straight C's.

Takiko had wanted to go to Midori for middle school. They had a girl's baseball team, the only one in Namimori, and she thought she'd fit in better there. Her grades made that impossible though.

She needed so much training! Even in the fifth grade, the difference between girls and boys was starting to show and she had to work so hard to hit and throw as hard as her teammates.

The only thing that worked in her favor was the growth spurt that hit her towards the end of fifth grade.

But all that training didn't just bring down her grades. It also killed her social life. Everyone liked her, but she didn't have time to hang out with anyone. When she offered to miss practice or to be late in order to spend time with people, they would get upset and insist that baseball was more important.

Even her teammates wouldn't spend time with her. They seemed mostly over the fact that she was girl, but reconciled it with the idea that it only worked because she trained so much. They expected her to train longer than everyone else and would sometimes even leave her behind to spend time together as a group.

So yeah, Takiko was popular but…

But nothing. Takiko was the ace of the baseball team and that meant she had a responsibility to her teammates not to let them down. She _wouldn't _let them down. She finished sixth grade with the mindset that only baseball really mattered and took on a smiling persona to ensure that everyone would like her. The last thing she needed was for people to think she was arrogant. No matter that they thought, it didn't come easy for her.

Middle school was a little better. Since Takiko's grades had slipped into the C range, even her athleticism couldn't get her into Midori, so she went to Namimori. Namimiori Middle School was just like Namimori Elementary and Takiko didn't have the time to adjust to anything new .

Instead she noticed that Dame-Tsuna was in her class. He wasn't what she expected at all. Yeah, his grades were the worst she had ever seen, but he wasn't nearly as pathetic looking as the image in her head. Takiko had always kept in the back of her mind the idea that Dame-Tsuna had to be someone beyond ridiculously pathetic to warrant all of his bullying.

He'd have glasses, the really thick ones where you can't see his eyes, and awful fashion sense, and a really lame hair style. Maybe he'd be really arrogant and try to act cooler than he really was in an attempt to reduce his bullying. That kind of a guy was what she expected to meet when she heard the rumors that "Dame-Tsuna" was in her class.

What she got was a frazzled looking boy with big eyes and fluffy looking hair who stumbled to class late and was always ridiculously nervous. It was cute. She wanted to hold him tight and tell him that it was okay to be late for class, she was late all the time too, and when he stuttered and got more and more nervous from other people teasing him, she wanted to snap at them for intimidating him so much.

Overall, Dame-Tsuna was just shy as far as she could tell. He was kind of lazy and skipped class a lot, but he was really cute, and actually pretty polite. He never fought back against his bullies and eventually Takiko figured out that was what _his _problem was.

Tsuna never ever fought back. It didn't matter if it was a girl who randomly asked him to stand still so she could draw on him in sharpie or a boy trying to take his lunch money, or someone ripping all of the pages out of his textbook. Tsuna never did anything in retaliation. He never fought back; he never complained. Yeah, he shrieked a lot, but the most active thing she saw him do was just… not go to school.

It was weird to see someone who gave up so easily. Takiko wondered what made them so different. But she couldn't really wonder for long because she had practice to worry about.

By this time, Takiko had taken to thinking only about one thing at a time. Her father disapproved of her single-mindedness, but there wasn't anything she could do about it. When Takiko thought too much then her chest would ache and the loneliness would set in. It wasn't fair that she was so popular and yet so alone. She wondered how Sasagawa Kyohei dealt with his popularity. His smiles always seemed so much more genuine than hers…

But no, Takiko wasn't thinking about that. She was thinking about baseball and how she could get better. She didn't really have the time to practice any more than she already did. Even when she tried, that Disciplinary Committee member Hibari Kyoko would chase her around the field and demand that she quit the team.

She was always going on about how it was against the rules for a female herbivore to be on the male baseball team, but what was Takiko supposed to do? Softball wasn't the same and there _wasn't _a girl's baseball team. Her training had basically ruined any chance of her getting along with girls anyway.

But Hibari-san was very stubborn and constantly harassed her. It got so bad that some of the guys on the team actually started getting involved and it made Takiko feel less alone for a short moment of time. Her teammates had her back when she needed them. That had to count for something.

But it didn't. And Takiko hates how "but" seems to be the word of her life. Why can't things be black and white? Why does she have to work so hard to pretend not to notice the gray? Takiko wanted to live a simple life with the people she loved doing things she loved. Why was this so hard to do?

Her coach pulled her aside not long after school started getting interesting. Tsuna, and she blushed a little bit every time she admitted to calling him "Tsuna" in her head, had become friends with this really loud new transfer student Gokudera Hanako. She was really pretty and didn't let anyone stop her from doing what she wanted to do.

Takiko had even heard rumors that she already had a college degree and only went to school to be closer to Tsuna, who she called "Tenth".

She knew for a fact that a lot of the girls in their class had already warned her against spending time with "Dame-Tsuna" but that she had threatened to kill them the moment they'd use the infamous nickname.

Takiko tried not to be jealous, but it was hard. She wanted to be able to be able to do whatever she wanted without worrying about the consequences. And she had kind of wanted to be Tsuna's first friend. His best friend. His most precious friend. She wanted to be important to him.

None of that mattered anyway. The coach pulled her aside and said that even though she still had the most skill on the team, and was unusually tall for a woman, she was starting to lag behind the others. That wasn't her fault. She knew it wasn't her fault.

The guys were starting to go through puberty and they were getting stronger. Takiko had already basically finished her growth. There wasn't much she could so about that. The coach didn't want to hear her excuses though and just told her that if she didn't get her act together, then he'd have to bench her.

Takiko didn't know what to do. This was _baseball_. The only thing she had. The _only _thing she had.

Without it, she would be nothing. It wasn't fair. Why couldn't she have been a boy? Then this sort of thing never would have happened. A voice from inside whispered that she was wrong. The problem would have happened even if she was a boy because she was broken, faulty, not able to handle the stress as well as she should. She was weak.

But Takiko didn't want to be weak. She wanted to be happy. And for some reason those two were forever separated.

Takiko decided to spend a few days thinking about non-baseball things. Like how Tsuna was getting cuter. He hadn't started growing yet, but he actually was getting excited about things, like whenever Gokudera-san pulled out her fireworks or those strange test tubes. She loved hearing his voice. He was always so expressive. He never had to hide things from others like she did.

After she had spent about a week watching Tsuna, Gokudera-san noticed and cornered her in a hallway after school one day.

"What are you to the Tenth?" she had snarled.

Takiko wanted to laugh. Gokudera-san was so cute and pretty with her bright green eyes and her long straight silver hair; it was hard to be intimidated by her. So she laughed. "Gokudera-san, I have no idea what you mean."

"I see you looking at Tenth all the time!" she yelled back. "I don't like it! I'm the Tenth's future right-hand man and I'm the on only one he needs. Don't you dare ruin this for me!"

Takiko almost frowned, but caught herself in time. "What do you mean? I'm not doing anything."

Gokudera-san's posture lowered. "Tenth, Tenth really admires you. I don't know why, and I don't really want to know why. I just want you to stay away from him, okay?"

And with that, Gokudera-san ran away. Takiko stood there in the hallway and blinked in confusion before blushing brightly. Tsuna admired her? A giddy feeling flowed through her and she wanted to jump up and down in her girliest action in a long time. Tsuna liked her! Tsuna really really liked her!

She froze. Oh, but maybe he only liked her because of baseball. Everyone only ever liked her because of baseball… She sighed and decided to forget that that conversation had ever happened. She was good at that.

A few days later, the coach yelled at her again and Takiko knew she had to figure out something. She usually wound up participating in the boy's P.E. class, another reason why Hibari Kyoko didn't like her, so after a baseball themed class, she asked Tsuna for advice.

"Hey, Sawada-kun?" she asked. "What do you do when you feel like your potential has flat-lined?"

"Hiiieee! Yamamoto-san! Are you really asking _me _something like that?" he replied. "I mean, I'm just Dame-Tsuna. Isn't there someone else to ask?"

She was actually really nervous asking him anything. She was supposed to be the strong girl who played with the boys and she didn't want him to think she was weak. But at the same time, Takiko knew that Tsuna wouldn't judge her.

"No, you're exactly the right person to ask." She smiled at him and was inwardly elated how at how natural it was. "I mean, you've become so much more reliable these days! I was wondering how you managed to do it."

Tsuna blushed and was just _so cute_! "It's nothing major. I'm really the same loser I've always been."

"Hm, well, you might think so, but I'm asking you anyway."

"Why do you need advice anyway? You're already amazing."

Takiko tried not to blush. "Just at baseball, and I'm not getting any better these days."

"Baseball is plenty! I can't believe that you're so great at playing sports with guys! You're probably the most athletic person in our year!" Tsuna emphatically replied. She thought she heard him mumble, "I also think you're really pretty." But it was probably just wishful thinking. "Why do you need to get better anyway?"

Takiko sighed. "Because I'm a girl, and the guys are getting better. At this rate all of them will surpass me and I'll be left in the dust."

She could tell that Tsuna just wasn't getting it.

"I don't know what to say. I guess, just try harder?" Tsuna finally said.

It wasn't what she wanted to hear, but she shouldn't really have expected anyone to say anything else. "Yeah… I guess that's what I need to do."

Tsuna sighed in relief and she couldn't bother him anymore. That afternoon she trained a lot harder than she usually did and for a lot longer. Hibari-san came by once to scold her, but when Takiko obviously wasn't listening she just huffed and left.

She trained until the sprinklers came on for the early evening, and that's when disaster struck. She was practicing her runs around base when she slipped and landed on her arm the wrong way.

Takiko tried not to cry, but it was hard and her arm felt really weird. She wound up limping home and her dad had to close the restaurant in order to take her to the hospital. A fractured wrist. Her life was over.

The next day Takiko went to school and smiled and pretended everything was fine. But it obviously wasn't. And she couldn't pretend well enough that she couldn't hear her teammates complaining about how they were screwed without her playing and how "didn't she have any common sense?"

During lunch she went to talk to the coach and he gave her such a dressing down that she knew that life just wasn't worth living anymore. Baseball had abandoned her. The baseball gods didn't love her. She was nothing.

And so Takiko stood on the roof of Namimori Middle School and prepared to say her goodbyes to her life as she knew it.

Everyone stood pretty far away from her and no one tried to stop her. It was just like she always figured. No one really liked her. Without baseball they couldn't even find an excuse to try to keep her from jumping. What a pointless life.

But… she couldn't just jump. A part of her wished that someone would talk her down from it. But she also knew that if no one could give her a good reason to live she wouldn't. She saw Hibari-san for a moment, but she quickly left and that was basically all of the approval she needed.

"Yamamoto-san!"

Hm, someone was talking to her and not _about _her. Wait, that voice… "Sawada-kun?"

"Yamamoto-san! What are you doing?" He was all out of breath.

Takiko was glad to get to see him one more time. "I don't have baseball anymore. So I'm nothing. It's time to cut my losses and end things."

"No! Yamamoto-san! You don't have to do this! I know that this is all my fault and I'm sorry—"

"What? No, Tsuna it's not your fault. I mean, yeah I followed your advice, but I would have done it anyway. After all, I needed to do something to keep baseball. But the gods weren't willing."

She moved to take a step backwards when Tsuna said the one thing she never thought anyone would ever say. "THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN BASEBALL!"

Takiko froze. That couldn't be true. Could it? "Maybe for other people, but not for me," she finally replied.

Tsuna honest to goodness glared at her. "Don't be stupid. Of course there is. Don't you have people you care about? People who would miss you?"

"But I—"

"If someone as useless as me can find a reason to live, then you have no excuse." He turned his back on her and started to walk away.

No, not him. She can't lose him too. Wait, too? But all she had was baseball. How could she have Tsuna too? "Wait, Tsuna—" She grabbed his sleeve and he started to fall backwards pushing both of them off of the roof.

Takiko expected life to finally be over, but the next thing she knew, she was on the ground and safe. Safe in Tsuna's arms.

She blushed. Maybe… she would be better off living for a person than a thing.

And with that, Yamamoto Takiko became obsessed with something other than baseball.

* * *

Author's Note: I think next up is Ryohei unless I get any requests for anything else.


End file.
